Dreams and Nightmares 10: God is Gracious


God Is Gracious


Many parents feel that their baby is special, a gift from God, and in a way they are. But our son was more special, really. 
Ian came to us late in the morning on a Saturday, and I was scheduled to sing in the Gay Pride concert that evening. At the time, 1990, I was singing with the Lesbian Gay Chorus of San Francisco, with Pat Parr directing.  Before the concert started Pat asked me if he could make an announcement about the arrival of our son. Speaking to a crowd of nearly 2000 he told them that even in the midst of the destruction from AIDS and our struggle for civil rights that wonderful things were happening. He announced that we were the first couple to receive a baby from Alameda county, that very morning. The crowd erupted into cheers and applause. It wasn’t only congratulations for Vince and me. I could feel the momentary relief from grief, the optimism that such a move by a public agency gave our community, the sheer joy that new life was coming, and the unbelievable surprise that such a wonderful thing was happening. That evening Ian’s arrival gave hundreds a big reason to celebrate gay pride.
Vince and I talked for a while about what to name our new son. I always like the name Ian, after first hearing the name of the author of the James Bond spy novels, Ian Fleming. It is a variation of the name John. The apostle John referred to himself as the one who Jesus loved, recognizing their special relationship. When we received our baby from the county, I felt very loved, a recipient of God’s intervention. When I researched the name, I found that it means God is gracious. With Grace being the free gift of God’s love, it felt very appropriate to name our son Ian. We had done nothing to deserve this wonderful gift. We had only to accept it.
Even though Ian was our son, it often felt that he belonged to the larger community. People talked about us, and we would often meet people who said they had heard of us. His presence among us was clearly a gift to the whole community because it represented an achievement in our journey to equality. Various groups of friends had baby showers for us. These events were ostensibly a time to acknowledge our baby’s arrival and to give us clothes and supplies, but underneath each party was a sense of accomplishment and pride that our community was moving forward. The Lesbian Gay Chorus of San Francisco also threw us a baby shower. They knew that we had already received many gifts, so they took up a collection. I remember being astonished and humbled that they had given us over $250, a lot of money for the time. It was tucked inside the card which included their signatures. On the front of the card multicolored letters proclaimed, “Dreams Do Come True!”

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